Insecurities..

I'll be the first to admit it; I'm one of the most insecure people I know. Whether it be about my body, my hair, my nose, my personality--I never feel good enough. Speaking from the perspective of an 18 year old girl, I obviously belong to the vast majority of young adults figuring things out, as well as picking themselves apart--deciding what part of them is good or bad. I am definitely one of those people that feels like appearance wise, I am nothing but average, I have low self-esteem when it comes to my body, and I feel like there's so much improvement that can be done to myself in general.

PQOTD.. Taken from Tumblr.

Now I'm not saying that that's what other people tell me. Of course, my family says I'm one of the prettiest girls they've ever seen (blablabla, typical family talk), and my friends will deny that I have any fat on my body (TOTAL LIARS), and guys say I'm hot (but they say that to every girl out there, so,...). But at the end of the day, none of that matters if I don't feel it myself. I mean, they always say that the only way for the other people to love you is to love yourself, right?

I've always been one to believe in the idea that if you don't like something about yourself, change it. I don't mean change who you are to please other people or to become a completely new and different person (even though I personally love those transformation shows). I mean if you have an issue with your weight, get on the treadmill and try to burn that fat off. If you have alot of acne that's bothering you, then research all the methods to permanently get rid of it. If you feel you're too shy, find a way to open yourself up and be more outgoing and confident in yourself. But let's be honest here, everything is easier said than done. It's always difficult to make such changes because it does require quite a bit of work and effort, and I for one have this laziness gene that honestly stops me from finishing most things (already mentioned in another post). Lately, though, I have been pretty motivated to make a change in myself and in my life, and that's mainly due to going to college in less than two months.

I've always envisioned myself a completely new and improved Me once I got into university. You know, fit and toned, totally confident, accomplished, motivated and goal oriented, yadayadayada. But what I never realized was that in order to become all of these things, I need to put in the work. You don't just wake up being a new person; it takes time, effort, and dedication. And being so close to finally being a university student, it's hit me that I'm nowhere near these goals! Given, I have many, many, MANY years ahead of me to complete these changes and goals, but I still don't feel comfortable in the body that I'm in now.

So I've decided to make the best out of my summer, and finally achieve those goals that I've put off so many years, so I finally become the person I want to be!
Write in the comment section if you're going through this journey too, and if you have goals that you want to achieve too!

xx, Raneem 

Finish What You Start

See that sentence up there? Yeah, well, that's mainly directed to yours truly. I've always had this problem: finishing what I start. I don't know what it is about completing a task that is so difficult to me, but I just can't seem to do it! And I mean finishing almost anything! Even finishing up a blog post (hence my lack in posts in general).

Now, I have a couple theories as to why this happens to me.

Found this somewhere on tumblr, and found it really cute.

1) I tend to be a perfectionist in things that I care about. For example, in order for me to complete a blog post (kudos to me for even finishing this one), it needs to live up to the standards that I've put for myself. The problem is, I feel like in so many ways, I don't have the knowledge or power to do the things I want to do to their full potential! Which brings me to...

2) I get frustrated easily, which leads to me quitting. Now, being the perfectionist I am (in certain things), when I feel like I can't finish a project perfectly, I just give up before I even finish! In my head, it's like, why even bother when I know it's not going to succeed. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is one of the main reasons for failure. If you never try, how can you succeed?

3) Laziness? As much as I hate to admit it, I can be on a bit of the lazy side of things. Okay, maybe a lot on the lazy side. But, in my defense, it does come back to reasons 1 and 2. And maybe my whole shyness thing going on. I'm too damn scared about what people will think of me, and it sucks! I really need to stop with that crap.

And last but not least... 4) Impatience. I am probably one of the most impatient people I know! I honestly have an issue. When I start anything, I hope (and even expect) immediate success. Like this blog for instance; when I started, I was hoping for 100000000 readers immediately. Naive, I know. But what can I do?! That's just the way my brain works my friend.

So anyways, the point of this post was to just tell you guys (and myself especially) to just finish what you start. It's not always going to end up the way you want it to, and it might not live up to your expectations. And who knows, you might actually end up with something better than you had initially anticipated. So, start a project, give it your all, and try to finish it. And take pride in it, no matter how crappy it can be!

xx, Raneem

I Want...

So, this morning, I sat down with the intention of making a list of all the things that I want in my life. I got my pen and paper out, sat down, and was super excited to start it. So I sat there thinking, and thinking.. and thinking.. and... nothing. I had no clue of what I actually wanted in my life! Now, I know I am a pretty indecisive person (like super-mega extra indecisive), and I can't make a decision to save my life.. But really? I couldn't even make a list of things that I want?

Then it hit me: I really have no clue of what I actually want for my life! And because I've never been able to point out exactly want I truly want out of life, I haven't been able to live to my full potential!

Given: I'm only eighteen and I have a (hopefully!) long life ahead of me--plenty of time to make decisions and lists. But for now, I've decided to start thinking about what I truly want to do and how I want my life to go! Well, until next time!

xx, Raneem

Positivity!

My wallet's been missing for two days. Problem is, I have no idea where or when I lost it exactly. It could've been either at two of my friends' houses, my friends' cars, or at this hotel my friend had her birthday in. And to make matters worse, I may or may not have been slightly intoxicated during the time that I lost it. Now the main problem is: all my cards (Civil ID, driver's license, some credit cards) are in that wallet.

For the past 24 hours, I've been freaking out not knowing where the hell it could've gone to. I called my friends and asked if they've seen it, I've looked all over my house, called the hotel, and still, NOTHING! I'm definitely someone that tends to have the worst reactions in times like these, so it comes as no surprise that I haven't been the most calm-and-collected person around. And having my parents on my ass does not help at all. I can't drive (because of the no license part), I don't feel like going out anywhere because I keep hoping someone will find it and deliver it to my house.. 

Personally, I'd much rather prefer using the power of positive thinking and all that jazz in order to make the wrong things in my life go right; this being no exception. I've taken every necessary step possible but reporting my wallet missing in order to find my wallet. So going on Google (my best friend in many situations), I've found a couple ways that might help me utilize the the Law of Attraction to finding my missing item. Now, I know you're probably thinking, "this girl is out of her mind. The Law of Attraction won't actually do anything", and maybe, just maybe, it might be a little far-fetched. But I'm telling you, I have full faith that this will work. At least if it doesn't work, my mind is a little bit calmer than it was an hour ago. 

NOW TO MY CONCLUSION:: Positivity is the only way to attract the good things in life and to get what you want, no matter how big or small. To some, losing my wallet might seem like such a petty thing to be fussing over, but to me (at the moment anyway) it's a pretty upsetting event that I wish hadn't happened. I swear, if I can just find my wallet in my house and feel like a complete and total idiot, I'd be totally happy with that! But until then, I'm going to continue to be positive and have faith that my wallet will be found!

xx, Raneem. 

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Dress Dilemma

About a month ago, I went shopping for clothes for spring break. So, I walked into Topshop, and Lo-and-behold, this gorgeous emerald blue, cutout, chiffon dress captures my attention and urges me to try it. Now, mind you, I had no intention whatsoever of buying the dress, but my curiosity got the best of me, and there I was, 5 minutes later in the dressing room trying on one of the prettiest I've ever tried on.
But, here's the problem. It was 95KD (£175.00 online here).. wayyy over what I'm use to spending on any single article of clothing. 

I take a picture, send it to my mom, and the end conclusion was: I bought the dress. Now, here's the real problem: my living environment isn't exactly open to cleavage-bearing, cutout dresses.. So I basically needed to find a place to wear it so my conscience wouldn't kill me.

Basically my dilemma is not knowing how and where to wear this ridiculously expensive (or at least in my mind, expensive) dress! Now there definitely will be occasions where I'm going to end up wearing it eventually, but I'm pretty sure it won't be for another while longer..


Until next time!

xx, Raneem